"Do you love Isaiah?"

A couple days ago a friend from high school called me wanting to know about our adoption.
She's the mother of four adorable boys- all four biological.*** The fourth, just a few weeks old!
We had talked some before we got Isaiah and she was calling to hear how things went.
Her and her husband are seriously considering adoption. She has such a heart for orphans (she's been to Africa and seen the need first hand). I'll be surprised if this sweet young family doesn't end up with an adopted child at some point.

The first question out of her mouth I think was telling of what goes on in many mothers' and fathers' hearts when they think about adoption. She asked:
"So, have you bonded ok with him?"

As a mother of 4 biological children I knew what she was worried about. And it's what a lot of you wonder about. It's what I wondered about, but chose to trust God for.
"If I adopt, will I love my adopted child as much as my biological children?"

It's a valid question.

And I'll tell you what I told her, but I'm not sure if you'll believe me completely. Well, I'm sure you'll believe that I love MY child, but you may still not be convinced that if you bring a baby home that you'll love him or her as much as your own biological children.

But here goes.
I love Isaiah. From the second I saw him, he felt like MINE. I told my mom-friend that I didn't get to experience some of the raw emotional feelings that occur at birth. Some adoptive moms get to be in the delivery room as their babies are born. I wasn't that lucky. So yes, we did miss out on some of the experience of welcoming Isaiah into the world, but we haven't missed out on one bit of welcoming Isaiah into our family. He was our son from the first moment. Just like when I saw Isaac for the first time I was instantly in love, (and SOOO glad the 36 hour labor was over!) when I saw Isaiah I was instantly in love all over again! There wasn't even a hint of doubt that we had made a mistake or had been handed the wrong baby or the feeling that he was a stranger or not genuinely our son. He was just perfect! And at that instant I became his mother and I haven't had any doubts or looked back and questioned this. There is no reason to question him being our son because the love we feel for him is so real!

If you're considering adopting and you have biological children and are wondering if you'll adore your adopted child with the same intensity as the home grown ones, please just have faith! God will give you that love.

Some of you may be thinking, "Well I don't feel that way now." Well, right now you don't have your baby. Hearing her cry, meeting his birth mom, taking her home from that orphanage back to America, or seeing his eyes will change all that.To try and give a different example or show a different perspective on this concern, I wanted to share with you something our lawyer sent us this week.

These are the questions she will ask us when Isaiah becomes legally a Rivers in December. She gives us the written out questions so that we're prepared on that day for what she will ask us.

Put on your Imagination Hats and Read the following-
Try and picture yourself standing in a courtroom, holding a baby that you are adopting, your family seated behind you, and answering these questions- declaring answers to a judge. Its just to assure the judge that the baby is going to be cared for and that we understand our responsibilites as adoptive parents. Fill your name in where appropriate. There are some things you won't get, but its not important, I just want to see if you're moved like I was. Leave a comment!

INQUIRY
Mrs. Rivers
Q: Please state your name and address for the court.
Q: Are you married to Anthony Rivers?
Q: How long have you been married?
Q: Is your marriage stable?
Q: What do you do for a living?
Q: Are you and your husband financially able to take care of Isaiah?
Q: Did you and Mr. Rivers petition this court to adopt Isaiah?
Q: When was Isaiah born?
Q: Was Isaiah placed with you on September 11, 2009?
Q: Has he been in your continuous care and custody since September 11, 2009?

Q: Do you understand that when the Judge executes the Final Judgement that it will create a legal relationship between you and Isaiah as if Isaiah was born of your body into your marriage?

Q: Do you understand that when the Judge signs the Final Judgement that Isaiah will be entitled to all rights and priviledges as your child as if Isaiah were a blood descendant of yours born within wedlock?

Q: Do you understand that when the Judge signs the Final Judgement making this adoption final that you are morally and legally responsible for Isaiah and if, God forbids, your marriage to Mr. Rivers ends in divorce that you are still obligated to support and take care of Isaiah until he reaches the age of majority?

Q: Do you understand and accept the legal consequences and responsibilities in adopting Isaiah?

Q: Do you love Isaiah?
Q: Can you assure this Court that you will love and care for Isaiah as your son?
Q: Are you aware of the contents of Mr. Rivers' statement? (something Anthony will read)
Q: Are you in agreement with Mr. Rivers' statement?
Thank you.

We hope you and your family will continue to pray about adoption or continue on the journey down the adoption path. If you've adopted you know the love you have for your child and would declare on top of the courthouse gladly if they made you! We would, just give me a ladder!


***I am writing this from the perspective of a mother who has a biological child and then adopts one. I think families with children need to be aware as much as families without children of their potential as adoptive parents! If you're a Hope-to-be Mommy or Daddy reading this, please continue to read. I know some couples without children hesitate to adopt because they think their kids, or family, will some how be less genuine or less real because the same DNA isn't shared. I know that's not the only reasoning, but its a similar thought to what I wrote about above. Please read this anyway! Picture yourself in that courtroom declaring as a Daddy or a Mommy to a precious child how much you love them. There isn't anything more real or genuine!***